For some insane reason (I believe it’s called “my sister” ), I’ve just watched “Van Helsing” for the third time or so.

And while it was a decent enough action flick the first time around, it’s not a movie you’d want to watch again. The thrill of that first viewing is no more, as you know exactly what is going to happen. The costumes and the scenery and the effects — while laudably well done — get more and more cheesy. The inconsistencies in plot, characters and setting also get more annoying. And the acting…

In fact, the only actor I thought did well in it was Richard Roxburgh, whose Dracula was quite cool; the faults of the Dracula character were caused by crappy writing, not crappy acting. Another fun thing about this movie, is of course that the hero’s love interest dies. Big bonus, that, and lifts this pile of dung up a notch or two.

It could have done even better, if they’d wasted a little less time on never-ending action scenes, and instead thrown in a bit more about what seems like a Van Helsing mythos. The whole “Gabriel” and “left hand of God” bit reminded me of the old “Castlevania” games, and gave me the urge to know more.

All in all a 3.0/10.

It should be noted, though, that the first time I watched it, I gave it an 8 or so, and although I sure as Hell wouldn’t have done so now (I mean, is it any wonder my ratings are a bit inconsistent at times?) . The first time around, it might be a 6. The rating 3.0/10 is given because it suddenly struck me that this was a worse movie experience than “King Arthur”; I actually fell asleep for the last twenty minutes or so…