I’m done with the book reviews for the time being. Everything that remains now is the billion movie reviews I’ve had on hold. So here goes; my thoughts of the latest Harry Potter flick.

As you may have noticed when you read my book review of The Deathly Hallows (if you haven’t read it, it’s the one titled “Thoughts on a Scarred Youth”), I am something of a Pothead. I don’t deny it and I’m not ashamed of it. I am not, however, a fan of these crappy movies. The problem with writing a review of them is that I find them so flawed that I don’t know in which end I should start.

Should I comment upon the dreadful acting of the three leads and some of the supporting cast (worthy exceptions being Severus Snape, played by Alan Rickman, and Minerva McGonagall, played by Maggie Smith. I also enjoyed Evanna Lynch’s version of Luna Lovegood - I actually liked that character in the film, which is more than I can say I did in book 5 and 6).

Should I comment upon the logical flaws that keep occurring more and more because so much of the previous books have been cut. Trimming the fat is O.K. by me, but there is a broad red line between making the films make sense and not just being a fun thing for the fans.

Should I make a smart remark upon how the movie makers have ceaselessly been cutting away nearly all those scenes that made me love the books in the first place? If I were the director of these films, my main goal would be to tell the story while keeping the mood of the books intact. The mood is totally my-merry-bells-flew-over-the-mountain screwed up. They feel soulless and downright cheap to me.

But I shall do neither of these things because I know they are the ravings of a mad fan. If I look at The Order of the Pheonix from an slightly less subjective viewpoint, I recognize the fact that they are not as bad as I feel they are. They are in fact rather mainstream, or in other words, your everyday Hollywood crap. I loath them with an intensity with which they probably not deserve, and I will probably watch the next two in the series because I’m insane that way (too).

All in all this is the worst evening I’ve had in a cinema ever since The Goblet of Fire came out (which is definitely a much worse than this. I rate them in order of less crappy to total crappiness: 1. The Prisoner of Azkaban 2. The Chamber of Secrets 3. The Philosopher’s Stone 4. The Order of the Pheonix 5. The Goblet of Fire).

I know this review won’t mean a damn thing, ’cause those of you who’re going to see it have already done so or will do so in the near future. This is, however, my two cents on the subject. Take them or leave them, it matters not to me. I’ve said my piece.