The Word is ‘Epic’
I am not in the habit of admitting fault. It feels like loosing, and I hate losing, so whenever I’m wrong about something (which I never am!), I tend to make up silly excuses till the rightful party gives up and walks away. Yes, I know; that’s a terribly childish way to behave, but then I never claimed otherwise. However, in the case called ‘Joe Abercrombie’, I will refrain from degrading myself in such a manner. I will simply just go out and say it as straightforward as it can be said:
I was utterly and entirely wrong about Joe Abercrombie.
He isn’t the height of mediocrity, nor is he an unoriginal, repetitive fart who has made a living by ripping off dead people’s plots in ways done umpteen times before. No, this guy isn’t a pretender to the throne of Promising Fantasy Authors - he’s beyond that now. People (like me) can say what they want to about Scott Lynch or Patrick Rothfuss. For example, they can say that their first efforts were of a much higher quality than what this guy pulled out, but neither of those two has proved they can do it - and do it better - over the course of a trilogy.
‘The First Law’ proves that Abercrombie is no longer playing in that particular sandbox of valid comparisons. He’s been upgraded, ascended to a different level. So ask me not how ‘The First Law’ holds up to the likes of ‘The Gentleman Bastard Sequence’. Ask me rather whether it could take ASOIAF, MBotF or LotR into the ring and come out standing.
And my answer?
I wouldn’t like to see the scorecards… The match would probably cripple ‘The First Law’ for life… But if it could make it into the last rounds I’m sure it could trade punches with the biggest of the heavy-hitters (though I wouldn’t be surprised if it got disqualified for biting off an ear).

‘Last Argument of Kings’ is a translation of what Louis XIV had inscribed on his cannons, and you’d be hard pressed to find a more fitting title for the concluding instalment of ‘The First Law’ trilogy. After a little introductory passage where we meet up again with the old characters, Joe Abercrombie says “Enough is enough” and rams the gas pedal through the god-damned floor. This is a 536-pages long tour-de-force with barely no time for a breather.
In this book you’ll find battles of epic proportions, and Abercombie’s trademarked angle manages to get you up in the filthy grit like nearly no one has managed before. He doesn’t go for the sweeping picture or the strategic deployments; he goes for the muck, the devastation, the bloody kill… And thus he doesn’t manage to recreate the awe-inspiring sieges found in Erikson’s or Martin’s work, and he doesn’t try to either. Fighting isn’t pretty, it isn’t noble and it is always pointless. You won’t find any glorious pictures of charging knights and vanquished evil in these books. Because there are no such things. There are only humans, and humans have never been either black or white.
Shivers got up and took a step away. Then he stopped, and turned back, firelight shifting over one side of his hard, angry face. “It ain’t ever as simple, is it, as just good or bad? Not even you. Not even Bethod. Not anybody.”
“No.” Logen sat and watched the flames moving. “No, it ain’t ever been that simple. We all got our reasons. Good men or bad men. It’s all a matter of where you stand.”
— LAoK, “The Fourth Day”, by Joe Abercombie
So this becomes a work riddled with shades of grey, which is always interesting because you never know what’s going to happen next. I’m not easily surprised by plot twists any more, and I wasn’t flabbergasted at how things transpired in this novel, but I was never sure about what would happen. And that’s enough for me, because you don’t come for the plot with this series.
You come for the masterful characterization. Yes, you heard right. Masterful characterization. I’m even willing to say that I think ‘Glokta’ and his “anti-character” ‘Jezal dan Luthar’ (you can’t mention one of them without the other) are two of modern fantasy’s best characters, and Logen Ninefingers doesn’t come far behind, either. The only character I could never come to terms with was Ferro Maljinn, who always felt flat and too one-sided to me. But then again, maybe she was supposed to… Hate and vengeance personified isn’t something that should be enjoyable and… human.
If I had to nit-pick (and I don’t want to, but there you are) I’d have to mention the world-building, which doesn’t exactly scream with originality. It’s nothing but a back-drop in this series, and that’s okay by me, but when you cut this drastically back on the imagery you’re left with a quite stark picture of nothing but characters and very little of the world they live in. I would also venture that a cut-back on the the character’s catch-phrases would still only help the book, because it could sometimes feel a bit worn out (this goes especially for Logen Ninefingers).
Perhaps the most satisfying thing about this novel is that it ties all the storylines together, solves (nearly) all the mysteries and it still manages to make you scream for more when you reach the last paragraph. I can’t wait to read the next novel in this world, and I’m dying with curiosity to see whether the author manages to recreate an equally interesting set of characters. I’d say it was impossible if I hadn’t just witnessed how insanely much better the writing has gotten for each book of this trilogy.
‘Last Argument of Kings’ is by far the best Epic Fantasy book I’ve read this year, and I would be hard pressed to mention an equally awesome conclusion to a series. I’ve seen Werthead comparing it to ‘The Return of the King’ in that regard, and I can’t but agree with that assessment. It just is that good. So do yourself a favor: The next time you’re in need of a cliché-twisting, morbidly funny and all-round thrilling Fantasy trilogy, don’t buy ‘The First Law’ by Joe Abercrombie. It’s too good for you.
You can’t have it!
It’s mine!
9,5 /10
……………………..
I said in my review of ‘The Blade Itself’ by Joe Abercrombie, that I might change my opinion of the novel after reading the rest of the series. Well, now I have. Here are the final grades for the other the books and the entire series.
The Blade Itself = 7,5 /10
Before They Are Hanged = 8.5 /10
Last Argument of Kings = 9,5 /10
The First Law = 8,5 /10

Posts
“The next time you’re need of a cliché-twisting, morbidly funny and all-round thrilling Fantasy trilogy, don’t buy ‘The First Law’ by Joe Abercrombie. It’s too good for you.
You can’t have it!
It’s mine!”
Best. End. Of a review. Ever. (And that’s even though you lost an “in” in the beginning there.)
26. March 2008 @ 04:11 ( Permalink )
Fixed and perfectified to peerless grammatical correction
26. March 2008 @ 10:24 ( Permalink )
You should be punished for your incessant posting about stuff that makes my soul twist for want to read fiction when I don’t ever have the time and energy to comply, you know.
Really. I’m thinking the rack. Or possibly a ginormous twist-tie of barbed wire.
26. March 2008 @ 13:20 ( Permalink )
You’ve read nothing yet, my friend. NOTHING, I tell you!
Hee hee!
26. March 2008 @ 14:10 ( Permalink )
I have the modest goal of being done with “Bonehunters” and try to get into the next one on my stack of unread fiction before June. It’s a little bit less modest due to my having about 1400 pages of unread curriculum left to read and a full-time study of Latin to work at at the same time. Also less modest due to my also hoping to get through three or four of my non-fiction stack before June as well.
But hopefully doable. Might mean that my progress with The Wire, 3rd Rock from the Sun and Young Indiana Jones (which I’m hoping to start watching soon, I’d like to have seen it before the Crystal Skull, though that’s looking increasingly unlikely) will be horribly slow, but hey, some sacrifices must be made, I guess.
27. March 2008 @ 01:51 ( Permalink )
Good luck with that
Me, I’m going to do a lot of comics and some SFF classics. I’m halfway through ‘Watchmen’, which is probably the most demanding book I’ve read in a loooong time. Loving it though, even if it’s going painstakingly slow.
27. March 2008 @ 03:30 ( Permalink )
Thank goodness. If you’d said that you didn’t find that book demanding, I’d have seriously start thinking about giving up reading for good and just face that I’m now a mindless tv-drone. But if you too find Watchmen demanding, I guess there’s hope for me.
27. March 2008 @ 10:03 ( Permalink )
Sigh. I cut my venture into the world of Fritz Leiber’s Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser short a week ago or so, after only four short stories (Swords Against Wizardry, I believe the collection was called; it’s the first ones in Gollancz’ “First book of Lankhmar” ) and my original intention was to get started on The First Law, which I got “cheaply” at Avalon during their Oliphant sale about a month ago. However, on my way over to the table where I’m currently keeping the fruits of this year’s Mammoth Sale, I glanced to the left. My eyes strayed along the shelf on which I keep my classics — Plato, Xenophon, Thucydides, Milton, Smith, and that lot. And right then, right there, the Gods started their penal process. I’ve been suffering from hybris — imagining that I would one day read all these classics — and so they sent my nemesis to get me. And that nemesis? Almost the first classic I bought, and one of the ones I’ve been looking forward to reading the most., and the one frequently referred to in Gaiman’s humblingly awesome American Gods: namely Herodotus’ Histories.
So now I’m reading 2500 years old demography, history and geography, instead of two or three years old fantasy.
I guess my point is (I’m sure there was one here, somewhere; at least there was when I stated writing this rant) your reviews of this series made me buy it. Not that I’ve really read any but the first one, but hey. Just the fact that you read more of them after the first one might have been enough. Also, this one is *currently* on the top of my list of what to read once I’m through with Herodotus — i.e. when I’ve made it through another 580 pages or so of interesting albeit a tad slow Greek history.
10. April 2008 @ 12:04 ( Permalink )
Herodotus is supposed to be rather embellashing and fun reading, for an historian. Of course, the people I’ve heard claiming this are all classicists, but…
10. April 2008 @ 12:27 ( Permalink )
(I’m currently reading Suetonius’ Twelve Caesars, by the way, and the scandal-bits on Tiberius and Caligula are The Awesome)
10. April 2008 @ 12:28 ( Permalink )
I don’t what else to say than that I think you’ll enjoy this series a whole lot, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you become bigger ‘Crombie fan than I am (and I pretty big now). You probably saw his ASOIAF review in SFX, right? Well, these books can’t really be compared to that series (like so many incorrectly do), but it’s filled with a lot of the same stuff. So just keep in there and trudge your way through ‘The Blade Itself’. The sequel is SO MUCH BETTER and the last one here is nearly so good that I’d venture it could become a modern fantasy classic. But that’s just my opinion. Go make your own, and write a Got verdamt review of it on your blog!
I crave it! Desperately!
10. April 2008 @ 14:42 ( Permalink )
ASOIAF-review? *suddenly interested*
10. April 2008 @ 14:56 ( Permalink )
Funny how that works, huh?
10. April 2008 @ 15:18 ( Permalink )
Heck, I’m in a Game of Thrones (the boardgame)-phase (I have those) right now, you could mention ASOIAF in connexion to TOILET PAPER and I’d be on the edge of my seat.
Not that seat. Get your mind out of the gutter.
10. April 2008 @ 15:45 ( Permalink )
“Herodotus is supposed to be rather embellashing and fun reading, for an historian.”
Oh, yeah, it’s incredible, really. It does of course help that the translation is pretty modern and straight forward, too, so it reads like a dream. And hearing his accounts of the history of the Greek states, Persia, Egypt and stuff like that, interspersed with the occasional legend, everything with really good end notes that both correct and expand on his claims, it is both entertaining and educating.
Oh, and Suetonius!
Me wanna read!
“You probably saw his ASOIAF review in SFX, right?”
Yep, it was one of the few things they’ve had that’s been worth reading lately. And it was decent enough, although I kinda suppose the bookclub discussion on the SFX forum was more fun.
“So just keep in there and trudge your way through ‘The Blade Itself’.”
Will do. I don’t really have any expectations to this thing, so I suppose I’ll love it.
“Go make your own, and write a Got verdamt review of it on your blog!”
Will do, on both accounts. Trying to very gradually catch up with my reviewing these days; but I’ve read so mych weird stuff, and so long ago, I kinda have trouble remembering it all…
11. April 2008 @ 16:56 ( Permalink )
“It does of course help that the translation is pretty modern and straight forward”
It’s bent in the other directions? (I couldn’t resist…)
Happy to hear Herodot is treating you well, though.
“Oh, and Suetonius! Me wanna read!”
Ironically, the two characters interesting me the most - Caesar and Augustus, I’m nothing if not unoriginal - are so far the by far least interesting and most dreary reads of the book. Suetonius writes very thematically - he first gives a quick run-down of the family ancestry of the person (I believe this bit has been lost on Caesar, though), then a mini-biography on the person’s father, then he gets to the man in question and describes what he knows of his childhood (again, I think, lost on Caesar), then he lists political accomplishments, notable honours, positive personal traits, political atrocities, notable scandals and negative personal traits. It’s all systematical and it all goes chronologically - meaning he’ll go through the entire person’s life from beginning to end over and over again with every new theme.
Which is dreadfully boring with Caesar and Augustus. Genocidal megalomaniacs? Probably. But they were quite darned excellent at what they did, and they got an insane (and, obviously, unprecedented) amount of deeds, honours and positions. Huge parts of their chapters thus read like lists of the good stuff they did for the people of Rome. Good historical information, I’m sure, but hardly fun reading. They also lacked any obvious or indulged perversities, and were, as such things go, rather sane. So the less-good-bits of their biographies aren’t much more lively.
In truth, I was getting pretty bored with the entire book and took several months break in the midst of Augustus’ immense list of public renovation-efforts. But then comes Tiberius.
And Tiberius, once you get to the naughty-list, is Hi-fraking-larious to anyone not two thousand years back actually living in his immediate vicinity.
Then, of course, Caligula. Even more outrageous. I’m currently at Claudius, which will probably prove a brief respite from the insaneties, but then comes Nero…
What I’m saying is, Suetonius is unbelievably awesome when he accounts for the less desirable stories and attributes of the Caesars - and even more so because he lists them all together. And rather snarkily too. 10 pages in on Caligula’s 30-page biography he ends the list of the reasonable things the man did with the sentence “So much for the Emperor - now to the Monster”. But you need to be aware, if you ever read him, that (at least I found) his biographies on less outrageous individuals are also less entertaining.
But I’m getting so many Awesome anecdotes out of this read it’s worth it for sheer conversational value.
11. April 2008 @ 17:48 ( Permalink )